Saturday, March 26, 2011

This DISCLAIMER Will Blow Your Mind

The following is the Disclaimer posted at this site: http://www.felonspy.com/.   Believe it or not.

Disclaimer

We here at FelonSpy.com will never invade anyone’s privacy at all, but we do strive with daily passion and vigor working by the hour to insure that regular, non-criminal citizens (such as you and me, people who can vote an hold public office) have the best information possible to insure we have the knowledge we need to make qualified decisions about our own safety, our neighborhood, how closely we should be on the lookout against the criminal element around us, and our overall well being. We value our children as idyllic idols of the future in the same way we know you do, and it’s with these concerns in mind that we have put together this site. Thanks to us, you’ll always know what criminals live around you and how to protect yourself from this societal scum.

We hope to continue rolling out coverage city by city, state by state and nation by nation, but there are many places where we run in to obstacles. Some of these obstacles are “legal challenges” from the likes of attorneys, courthouses, law enforcement, those A-Holes at the ACLU and “the law” in general.

Apparently we care more about your well being than your own politicians and their stupid laws do, but that probably doesn’t come as too much of a surprise to you. Give money to anarchy societies anonymously, it’s the only way to protect yourself.

So here are some of the many ways we have to disclaim ourselves and this site:

Our data is not guaranteed, nor “official”, nor legally binding. Still, I think you know it’s pretty good, because it is. You can see how much work we dedicated to making it right, so we’re pretty solid, but not “guaranteed”.

Some municipalities and counties provide incomplete, outdated or inaccurate data from which we cull our information, so there may be places where addresses are incomplete or less-than-perfectly accurate, or the crime listed may be out of date, incorrect or otherwise since sealed, appealed or voided. We do our best, but we don’t always have access to the latest and best information, but winning in an appeal doesn’t mean the guy didn’t do it, does it?.

You should never use this site as cause to be a vigilante, even if you have been a victim and have a good 30-oz bat or unregistered firearm handy. Everyone loves a hero, there is no denying that, but if you rely on government records to put your hit-list together, it’s going to come back around to bite you in the butt every time, no thanks to “the man”. Use the database collection from this site instead as a general guideline and nothing more, and that’s our “disclaimer” (wink, wink).

When you see properties listed in the water, those are either incorrect addresses provided by your local government, or locations where the crime actually took place. We can’t correct all of them, but we do our best.

When you see an address listed in the middle of declared park lands, that is likely the last known location where this person committed a crime, or the last place the person was known to have been located.

None of the data we provide can be used in court, on television, radio or print media, or for any purposes other than your own curiosity and general information, unless otherwise stipulated in writing by one of our principal directors or data miners.

We do our best to provide safety and security for you, and we’ll keep doing it until the government sues us out of existence, which will sure as hell happen soon. Since we can’t actually promise our continued services we can only promise to flood you with arbitrary, unverified information so you can make some other decisions for yourself based accordingly. We’re only trying to help, and we work night and day to do just that.

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