Friday, February 12, 2010

The Top Ten Gross Things People Do On Airplanes

We all know about the rare instances of airline passenger misconduct that make it to the headlines, like the case of the naked, angry flyer or the fighting Lohan, but every day little instances of pure gross occur unnoticed or just unreported.

Perhaps you've spotted someone getting a little too frisky beneath their $5 on-board purchase blanket or going about some hygienic business, but chances are you haven't seen all Top Ten Gross Things People Do On Airplanes:

10. Browse dating websites over the in-flight WiFi

We know that having in-flight WiFi is new and great and magical, but it's best to keep your private profile and your preferences for "18/F/Asian" private.

9. Sleep on you/sleep on the floor

It's a long flight back from Hawaii and your seatmate had two too many Mai Tais. Before you can say "Mauna Loa," he's conked out on your shoulder and speedily producing a lava flow of glistening drool.

8. Use the main aisle as a space to do sit-ups, push-ups or change your child's diaper

The aisle is not your gym, nor is it a changing table. No one wants to see your lunging butt centimeters away from them as you attempt calisthenics.

7. Read Hustler, or other "adult" magazines

We realize that airport bookstores and newspaper kiosks sell adult magazines, but that doesn't mean you should immediately "read" them on the plane; those are for after the flight.

6. Attempt to join the Mile High Club

Although it seems flirty and adventurous to get in a mood with your partner and try to see things through while in-flight, keep in mind that you're in a public space.

5. Attempt to join the Mile High Club solo

The provided (or purchsed) airline blanket does not mean you have complete privacy and carte blanche to do what you will underneath it.

4. Eat fried chicken

Don't bring it on a bus, don't bring it on a train, and definitely don't bring it on a plane: smelly, greasy, messy food.

3. Tend to foot hygiene

There are foot fetishists and then there's everyone else. Feet just aren't the sort of thing that you want spending 8 hours a few inches away from the side of your face, especially if they're not your own feet (doing some yoga there?).

2. Vomit into something that is not the supplied barf bag

Thanks. We have a gross image of this in our head: "Saw someone use the plastic wrap from an airline blanket as a barf bag...didn't really work."

1. Sneeze open-mouthed/neglect to wash hands after using lavatory

This in-flight offense takes the number one spot because it happens most frequently and can affect the most passengers.

See more details at:

I just verified the above address and got a warning - probably because the regular address is very long. Don't worrk, it works.

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